Episode 12: Love; Letting God In

0:03  
We are here and another week into the quarantine and social distancing. And the last couple of weeks, we've talked about some hard things, some things that you might have become aware of in your own life, the way you're handling things, the way maybe you are viewing things. And hopefully it has brought you to some truth, some things that have pierced your heart, that you can maybe do things a little bit differently, so that you can grow and progress. So with that, today, I decided to talk to you about something a little lighter and a little more fulfilling.

1:15  
And that is going to be about love. And we're going to talk about some of the time about God's love for us individually. I have this book. It is called Precious in His sight. It is by Jodi Marie Robinson. And it's about seeing yourself as God sees you. It is the best book it's only about 70 pages long. So I encourage you to grab a copy of it so that it can remind you of who you are. But just to give you kind of the the back reading of it on the back cover just so you kind of know what it is that we're talking about.

1:54  
She says, In a world where images everything, the pressure to be perfect has never been more intense. The perfect makeup the perfect outfits a perfect size. But as society brashley asserts that a woman's value is wrapped up in how she looks, there is another voice, a softer voice, whispering her worth. Our Father in heaven, in his infinite wisdom, sees not the outward appearance, but perceives the beauty of the heart and the worth of a soul. Through meaningful stories, scriptures and examples. motivational speaker Jodi Marie Robinson lovingly reminds daughters of God of all ages, shapes and sizes, that the only true path to happiness is to measure her value as the Lord does. She is more precious than rubies.

2:38  
And that last line about the rubies comes from scripture in Proverbs chapter 3:15. And that's kind of how her book starts. She's talking about the scripture about rubies and she starts talking about when she was young, a little girl her family owned a jewelry store and she would go in there and she would look at all the gems. And she just was in love with rubies. She didn't know why they were red. They were sparkly. They were beautiful. But she loved them. And on her 10th birthday, she begged and pleaded that she could have a Ruby ring. And rubies are super expensive. They're very rare. And so they it's not like you can just buy one or get one easily.

3:24  
They're kind of hard to find. But on her 10th birthday as she was sitting at the table and her pink frosted cake, there was a black velvet box and she knew what it was. And she was so excited. So she opens the box. And in it was this little tiny gold band with a Ruby on it, that was barely the size of a bird seed. So so tiny. And she remembers thinking it does not matter how big or small this is, it meant the world to her. So as she was reading about rubies as she got older, because she didn't know why she loved them so much. But she did some research on him one night. And as she was doing that, she had found out how really how rare they were.

4:09  
She had come across that scripture in Proverbs, and in it it says she is more precious than rubies, and all the things thou cantst desire are not to be compared unto her. And so she read that. She thought, well who is she? Who is the she that is more precious than rubies? She decided to look up facts about rubies. And so as she did, she found different things. The first one is that rubies are categorized as precious gems, which by definition is something that is precious is valuable or highly esteemed or cherished. But in the gem world to be categorized as precious, a gem must also be rare. So they're rare. So that's one of the facts.

4:52  
The second one is that rubies and sapphires are made from the same mineral which is corundum. A those, even though they have a different color, that is because of how much mineral is in each one, and it produces a slightly different gem altogether just because of it. And the third one is the way it gets its color is from chromium. And what's kind of crazy about it is that the more color that is in the stone, so the deeper the red, the more chances it has to have cracks or the little fissures in it, that are formed inside of the stone. So as these cracks cause rubies to break into smaller pieces, that makes them less valuable.

5:37  
It's a delicate balance between having just the right amount of chromium to produce a nice red color and having too much and causing considerable breaks and cracks. And that's all in this book. Aside from that, you know, diamonds are said to be a girl's best friend, because when a man gives one to a woman, he is making an investment in her right. It is one of those things that if you find a substantially sized Ruby, with few imperfections in it, it is so rare that if it does happen, it is super, super expensive, and most people can't afford it. So what does this all have to do with what she found and why she says let's just go back to Proverbs 3:15; which states, she is more precious than rubies, and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her.

6:25  
So who is this verse talking about? She was looking at who is she? So that night as she was reading that, she said she received the answer to her question. And it said you Jodi Marie, that is who the Scripture is talking about. That is how God feels about you. So what does that mean? That means the she is also you. It's also me. So what does that say about us? in here she says that you are more precious, more precious than rubies. And rubies are one of the most cherished, highly esteemed exceptionally rare and most sought after gems in the world. Finding a perfect or near perfect Ruby is nearly impossible. And when a Ruby of such high quality is found it costs more than even a diamond, a gem held in the highest regard all over the world.

7:13  
That is how precious you are. She continues to say being precious to Heavenly Father is what gives us true worth and that is very precious. What does it mean to be precious to any eternal an almighty God, a heavenly Father, who rules over this universe with the perfect precision of a wise parent who loves unconditionally with a fierce devotion that spans millennia, and who desires your eternal happiness beyond your wildest imagination? It means that even on the days, when you had dropped the ball, missed the boat or flat out made a mistake, you are still precious.

7:47  
Your inherent worth as a daughter of God is unchangeable and irreversible. There is nothing you can do to change the way God feels about you. He wants you to know how precious you are. And he wants that knowledge to transform who you become. Can you imagine how different the world would be if each and every one of God's children understood that they were precious to him and acted accordingly? That would change the world entirely.

8:09  
Her book goes on to talk about our worth and talk about how precious we are to him. And that we can constantly come to him and ask for reassurance. I know for a time I thought that well, I already know he loves me. And I know that if I asked him something he would tell me. But sometimes, I just want some reassurance. And what she says in here as well is she sometimes just goes to God and asks him to tell her that he loves her. I just want to know, she's like I already know. But I want to be reminded, I want to feel it and he will always answer you.

8:46  
He will always reassure you that he loves you, and that you are precious and worth more than anything to him. What does that have to do with any of the things I usually talk about? We are going through hard things in our lives. There is so much chaos and trial and destruction and hardship and anxiety and depression going on in our own lives in our homes or around us. And so the importance of knowing that you are not alone that God is with you is helpful.

9:19  
Now I understand that sometimes our relationship with God is a little bit muddy, or we feel misunderstood or maybe that he's not there. So let's talk about that for just a few minutes. I've talked about this a little bit in previous episodes. But when we are going through something super hard and it comes down kind of to where we are at the brink of despair and we're calling out to him. And we want him to change our situation. And we're saying please, please save me from this or help me with this or I don't know what to do. And he feels quiet to us. It's like I've said before we have to reevaluate Maybe what it is we're asking. And if we are actually open to wanting to hear him?

10:06  
At times, I have come to God. And if I really look at it, I'm coming to him wanting my prayer to be answered in a specific way. I'm coming and pleading with please make this happen. Please fix this, or please save this. And he wants to do that. But what I'm not open to, or when I'm not coming with is a humble heart and submissive to His will, and to his guidance, because he knows more than me. He knows what is best for me. I think it's best for me, for my first marriage to work out. That's what I thought that's gonna be what the best thing is. And he was telling me, you two are not a good match.

10:57  
You two aren't on the same page. You two aren't going in the same direction. You two don't have the same strength and faith and belief in me. You guys are in different places. Now he loved my ex husband just the same. Regardless, it didn't matter that we were in different places. But we were not compatible. We were not doing well, I was not healing. And he was not choosing recovery. So when I'm coming to God with so much passion for what I'm wanting, and I'm saying, Please help me, if I have stipulation on what that help looks like, then I am blocking myself off from actually feeling the promptings and feeling what he wants to share with me.

11:43  
The other thing I've noticed is, I have sometimes felt as though how did you not tell me how did you not stop me from this? How did you not tell me way back here that I was making the wrong decision or that that something wasn't right? Because I'm in a panic mode and thinking how did all this happen? But when I'm in a clear mind and head, and I have surrendered my will and my pride and my stubbornness, and I've let it go, and I'm calm. And I'm like, okay, and I really look at what's true. And I really become awake, I can look back and see several times that I was prompted to, hey, that doesn't look right. That doesn't seem right. He's not acting right.

12:28  
You're not going in the right direction. You're not hearing my words, and I can see different red flags that have come up for me, like way back. I can look back to when I was dating, my first husband, he took me home to thanksgiving to his family's house to meet them. He left me there during that week, and went on a date with somebody else with a friend of his and his date. And I was visiting there. Okay, that's craziness. And I did call him out on it. And I was upset, and I did break up with him. But a few days later, he comes over, and he apologizes and tells me that that was dumb, and he shouldn't have done it. And he just didn't know what he was thinking and whatever, all the different things. And in those moments, I took him back.

13:18  
That was a sure red flag for me to notice where he stood. So God, let me see truth. And I chose not to take it in the way that maybe I could have. So as I look along the way of all the different things that have been shown to me over my lifetime, I can see where God's hand actually was. And I can also see where I didn't want that to be the answer. And I questioned it. And I thought, No, that's just me making things up. That can't be really the answer. I don't want it to be the answer. There were also plenty of times in my first 17 years of that marriage, where certain church leaders that I went to go see and talk about this with and get some guidance, actually did tell me Hey, you don't have to stay married.

14:12  
This is not okay, what he's doing. And I was shocked. I thought, what? You don't just end a marriage. I can't just walk away from somebody that is a good person. It doesn't make sense to me. And my mom had taught me which is a really good lesson. She had taught me when my dad was going through some hard things with his job and he kind of went through a little spout of depression and some things were happening that weren't ideal. I said to her, Why do you stay in this? She said to me, You do not throw a perfectly good person away just because they've made some mistakes.

14:53  
That stuck with me my whole life because my dad which if you read my book, he's in that book. He is The greatest man I've ever known. And my husband now is so much like him, I sometimes see my dad and him. Just an amazing person. It doesn't mean we don't make mistakes. It doesn't mean my dad didn't go through some hard things. But what my mom said, really stuck with me. And I took it to heart and I took it to believe it in a way that I want it to believe it, not take that and ask God is this situation the same thing?

15:27  
Instead, I made that my life mission to hold on to somebody that is a good person, even though they were making bad choices. So it's interesting how, what we learn, what we take into our lives, the way we turn it to our own belief system because we want certain answers, how it ends up being the result of us not hearing what God is actually trying to tell us. And so as the years go by, and we're pleading with God, hey, do you hear me? He does hear us and he wants to help us. But sometimes we don't get out of our own way. Because we're not ready or willing to listen to what he actually wants us to do.

16:11  
That can make us very angry, that can make us upset with God that can make it feel like he's not there, that he actually doesn't care about us. And all these things that we read about in this precious in His sight book, don't mean anything. We think there's no way he does not think I'm more precious than rubies. He doesn't even save me from this, or he doesn't even help me. But in those moments, when you're in despair, he is with you. He wants to help you. He's trying to guide you, he's gonna lead you and help you and even when you're not ready, he's okay with it.

16:44  
He still sits there. He still gives you guidance and answers to lead you along. Because even if you're not ready, now, he is going to make everything right for you in the future. If you keep going, if you keep trying to figure it out, if you keep trying to be aware, and be awake. Your relationship with God is precious. So maybe taking some time and being still taking things slow, reading scriptures and meditating over them and pondering them, attending your church, praying, all of these things can help you. They can help you and remind you of your relationship with him and that he has known you forever.

17:27  
He has always known you. He knows your name. He knows who you are. He knows what you're going through. He knows exactly in this moment, your heartache, and your despair and your happiness, and happy times. So in the book, she says so what if you have forgotten? With a little help from Heavenly Father, you can remember how to remember who you are and how precious you are. Maybe you are good at remembering. But your teenager needs a little reminding, or one of your friends that you've not spoken to in a while. So she has some scriptures in here to help us remember or to help our children remember.

18:05  
She says in Genesis 127, it says you are a child of God. In Matthew 10:29-31, it says you are so valuable to God that even the very hairs of your head are numbered. Psalms 139:3 Heavenly Father knows everything about you. Psalms 139:2, he knows when you sit down and when you rise up. And he even knows your thoughts before you think them. Jeremiah 1:4-5, Heavenly Father knew you before you were conceived. Luke 12:7, you are of more value than the sparrows. So even if you forget a million times each day, God will never tire of reminding you how precious you are to him.

18:47  
He loves reminding his daughters how precious they are. And he is reminding you right now. Listen to the spirit testify of this truth and remember what it feels like to be reminded because it feels wonderful. And that was written taken out of her book. So as we are thinking about our relationship with God, as you look at it, and you think in your heart and soul, what is holding you back from really taking advantage of how much he loves you and really taking it in and let your heart take it in? Do you trust him? Are you having trouble with that?

19:20  
I recently was praying and meditating and pondering and thinking about my kids and some of the things that they have to navigate through having divorced parents, and watching the way different people live, and how to take that in what feels true to them and what feels good to them. And I was praying about my kids and feeling a little nervous about possibilities in the future, and about how they're going to make it and that I feel like they should make it and I was just feeling a little bit  nervous. The answer came to me that they are on their own journey with God.

20:03  
And he has them and he's taking care of them, and they will be okay. But they have to do their own journey. And that right now, some of them don't fully trust him. Because he took their dad. In their mind and their heart, He took their dad. They fasted and prayed and pleaded on their dad's behalf. And that's written in my book cutting ties as well, they did. They worked hard for those prayers. And the prayers weren't answered in the way that they wanted. Which I've shared that as well, in a one of the beginning episodes that they did that. I had felt prompted to tell them that their prayers are heard. And that even if the answer isn't what we want, that those prayers are for them, it's to help them gain the relationship with God.

20:56  
It's to have them feel like they are supported in this trial, and that God is there. And those prayers are heard, and they will be protected because of that themselves. So as I was hearing this answer, and hearing that, these are the things that they have to go through, I felt peace and truth, because I've had my own journey with Go., I love him so much. The first time, I had this feeling of Wait, I don't know, if I trust him fully? I'm not opening up and letting go of what I'm trying to control. I'm trying to hold on to something because I want a certain outcome and I'm not giving it to God.

20:56  
When I realized that I could accept that I had some wounds to heal with God, that I was upset that he didn't save me from certain things, and that he didn't protect me from certain things. I had to gain that trust back by continually going to him and working it out with him. And figuring out how come I'm mad at you in those ways? And why do I trust you over here, but not over here? And it had to do with unhealed wounds. And as I heal those I could see God for who He is and how he feels about me. So if you are feeling like you don't know how he feels about you, and you don't even think he really cares that much. Maybe you have some wounds.

22:14  
Maybe you can discuss them with God. Maybe you can cry it out and have a session have lots of tears. And asking, just like in this book, please tell me what you think of me. Please show me and tell me that you love me. If you do that, and you were still not feeling it, don't get down. Just keep going. Keep trying, keep working. And it will come. I talked about that in my book in one of the chapters about about feeling like my heart was empty, that my love tank was completely empty. And I really didn't want to make any mistakes of looking for outside sources to fill that void.

22:52  
So I just continued to go to God and asking him to fill my heart. It didn't happen. It didn't happen. It didn't happen. And I kept going. And I just kept thinking, I'm still so empty. I couldn't even imagine being more empty than I was in that moment. I completely felt like my heart had been completely depleted. And as I kept doing that, one day it happened. As I was praying, I was like, please fill my heart, I cannot do this, I need to do this with you. I need to feel this. And it happened, my heart filled up and it overflowed. And I have never felt that full and that that complete up to that point.

23:38  
It was amazing. He didn't give it to me right away. He made me work for it and not in a bad way in a good way. So I would recognize it and feel it and would know that he is there. And he was teaching me other key things of letting go so that he could allow me to feel all of the things that he wanted me to feel. As I have stayed with God and as I have navigated through divorces, and a new marriage with God, he has brought me the most joy and happiness I could ever even imagine. And even though it took going through hard things to get there, I wouldn't trade a thing. Not one single thing.

24:20  
All of that heartache, taught me things. It taught me to see clear. It taught me to recognize what was really true. It opened my heart and my eyes and my mind to the beliefs I had that I had made up that weren't even real. It helped me clear those and fix those. It helped me see my worth. And it helped me to stay on a path that led me to a person that was living the same way I was is what what I wanted. I couldn't find that I couldn't find somebody that wanted the same things as me that love God as much as I did. I didn't even know that it was possible that someone would be wanting to do the work like me. I just didn't know.

25:05  
I know plenty of women that do. But the the men in my life that I had found, were not in the same spaces as what I was looking for. But as I kept going, even in those lonely times, and looking to God to be my partner, he was able to lead me to who I'm with now. The other day, we were reading scriptures as a family. And we were talking about how we feel Christ in our lives. And what is it that he actually does for us? Like, how do I feel having him in my life? What does it feel like to me? I've never felt this before as in these words, but it came to me that I feel like when I choose to have Christ next to me, as if he's attached to the side of my body as an part of me, it helps me act and react and do things in a completely different way.

26:04  
If I invite him into my life, every single morning, and I know that he is walking right with me connected to me, then it's as if when something happens, and I want to have an immediate reaction, where maybe I'm like, irritated or resentful or frustrated, it's almost as if he squeezes me, or leans into me, and it makes me pause. And I pause, and I think, and then I talk more rationally, and I can react in a positive way, versus in a crazy way. So walking with him next to me, helps me to be the person that I really want to be. It helps me to move forward and progress and be able to see clear.

26:47  
He can then show me the things that I'm doing wrong. He can show me, oh, hey, you didn't handle that very well. Or, hey, you forgot to invite me into your life today. And you were handling it all yourself. Which is kind of what I was doing before. I was doing these things with addiction and trying to navigate the marriage and recovery, trying to do it on my own. I would go and prayer to God. But before I learned how to actually let him tell me and me act on it, I was trying to make the decisions because I wanted the control.

27:18  
Once I let go, and was trusting in Him to navigate it, even if it looks scary, or even if it looked like he was asking me to do the craziest stuff, which he did, I had to come to that place of surrender and believing that what he was asking was for my benefit was going to be okay. And he was trying to lead me to a place of peace and happiness. And so as I keep Christ next to me, he's able to answer those things through Christ, and I'm able to be blessed and feel better, that I'm not doing all of this alone. And that was just something that I thought maybe might help you.

27:59  
If you want to feel like you're not navigating alone, you can start inviting Christ in building your relationship with Him by reading scriptures and praying that then you can have him right next to you. In the book, precious in His sight that I've been quoting, there's a story in there about a man who is told by God to push against a giant boulder sitting outside his window. God said, I want you to push against that rock. The man loved God. So he obeyed. Every morning he got up at dawn and pushed against that Boulder. Day after day he pushed and pushed until he grew tired. Then one morning the man realized something. Nothing was happening.

28:38  
As hard as he was pushing the rock was moving nowhere. His efforts seemed in vain. So the man went back to God and said, I can't seem to make any headway pushing against this rock. I see no progress being made. I give up. God heard the man and said Son, you have been faithful and doing what I have asked. I am pleased with your progress. You may not see it but you have gained much strength and experience from pushing on that boulder. Your sinews and muscles are toned. Your skin is bronze from the sun's rays and your mind is keenly focused on my command.

29:10  
I now release you from your burden. But not because you haven't been able to move the rock. You see I only asked you to push against it. I never expected you to move it. Moving it is my job. You've done what I asked you to do now allow me to move the rock. Relying on the rock means trusting in Jesus and in his greater gospel plan. To rely on means to trust. And so we must trust Jesus Christ as our Savior and Redeemer. He is our everything. Even when we don't believe we're strong enough, smart enough, pretty enough witty enough or confident enough. We must remember the Lord didn't ask for our resume. He asked for our obedience. He asked us to trust him, to follow him.

29:52  
Relying on the rock simply means that we keep pushing. We continue keeping God's commandments and we keep trusting in his promises. Even when that boulder, we've been pushing on day and night doesn't move an inch. If we keep pushing, the Lord will move our mountains for us, he may even show us how to climb them. How beautiful this is. And the reminder that we are not alone. We have to choose it though. We have to choose to get out of our own way. We have to choose to believe that there really is a Heavenly Father who loves us, and a brother, Jesus Christ that is there to walk beside us who knows exactly how we feel, who has felt every burden and every pain and every sin.

30:37  
He can be our best friend. He can be the one that we turn to. And when we are alone, and feel like there is no one, as we build our relationship with Him, we can have him right by our side. So even when there's nobody in the actual world standing next to us, we will be able to feel him in our heart and it will overflow and it will be enough. And you will feel enough. And you will feel as though you can go on. And that even when you are pushing against that rock, and it is not going anywhere, and it seems like all is lost and nothing is happening, and God is not there, remember that he is. He's helping you gain the strength that you need to be able to make it through your specific situation and trial.

31:21  
By doing that, and by you gaining the strength and turning to him even when it seems like why are you asking me to move this rock I can't move this rock? By trusting in Him, then he will get you to where you need to be and then he will move the rock for you. I challenge you this week to let God into your heart more if you already do, or invite him in. If you haven't been lately. Let him help you and let him love you. And just work on how you feel about him and see if maybe you have some things that you're not trusting him about and take those to him. See if you can work through those.

31:56  
If you can't do that yet, maybe start with reading material scriptures or maybe grab this book so that you can start easing yourself in. He is happy to just go one step at a time. That's how he works. That's how he teaches us and that's how he shows us that he is there. I wish you the best week in this quarantining in social distancing. And if you have to work and you're out there, thank you so much for your efforts, whether you're in the grocery stores or driving supplies or working in the medical field. We all appreciate everything that you are doing and we pray for your safety. And we'll see you next time.

‍