Episode 48: God is Offering to Save You if You Let Him

0:29  
Today has already been so crazy. It is about 1145 my time right now it is Monday, the day that normally this podcast would have come out at 6am. But I didn't get it done. And I was thinking, Okay, well, I'll get it done this morning and put it out. I was having a hard time staying focused. And all I kept thinking about was that I should just go to the store for a little bit. And I'm thinking why go to store later. And I just kept thinking, no, just go to the store, just go get something at the store. So I leave, I go to the store, I get my few things.

1:06  
And I'm on my way home, not very far from my house, probably two minutes from my house. And as I'm driving down this Main Street, I see this girl who's in her mid 20s or early 20s and she's kind of holding on to the fence of this townhouse complex. And she's, she's standing there. And this guy is right in her face. And he's yelling at her and she's just holding on to this fence. And then he starts grabbing her and grabbing her arm and grabbing her face and starts pushing her. And I'm like, Oh my gosh, are you kidding me? Like, this is not happening. And I seriously swung around. I like I was going the opposite direction of this house. And I just flipped up right in the middle of Main Street. And just like pulled right in, he was pushing across the street and towards this townhouse.

1:59  
And I was freaking out. I'm like, Oh my gosh, K, no, this is not gonna happen. This is this is there's no way this is gonna happen. Now I know that I can't get out of the car and cause something more serious. At least that's what I've learned. So I called the police as he's pushing her into this house. I have the description. I have the license plate of his car that's pulled up right in front of that house. I have the house number everything and and I'm waiting there for police and I'm just I'm just like, Oh my gosh, I cannot believe this is happening. This stuff for it makes me sick, right? It makes you sick too. Are you just like going? Are you kidding? It's triggering I know.

2:39  
And it is terrible and painful and awful. And I sat there this other girl flipped around right after me. She saw it too. And so we were like together seeing this, but the police come and they go in there and they they get him out and they're bringing him out on the doorstep and they are handcuffing him. And I'm just like, thank you. Thank you God, like for saving this woman, at least for right now. Right? One of the police officers said, Oh, this guy is such a jerk. We get called on him all the time. And I'm thinking, Kay, we we got to do something about this, then. Like this is not okay. He was in his mid 30s. And she was like low 20s. And so it's like this is not good. But something that the police officer said to me when I was filling out my witness statement thing is that she doesn't want to cooperate and tell them what is going on.

2:50  
And that got me thinking of how abuse is so scary and how we don't know what to do. And we don't know how to get out of it. Even though someone is right there, asking us Hey, I'm here to help you. I want to help you. But you have to tell me what's going on. You have to take the steps. Now I don't know what's gonna happen. I stayed there for quite a long time. I'm pretty sure that they will not allow him to go back into the house right now they'll have to take him down because he could kill her right. So they don't usually let somebody stay in the house at that moment. But I sat there and just prayed for this, this girl, that she will have the strength to take the hard steps.

4:18  
And I thought of all of you and your hard journey. And maybe you haven't been pushed on Main Street all the way into a house forcefully like that. And maybe you have. Maybe you've been yelled at and screamed at and belittled and mocked and laughed at to where you think you cannot do anything else or you believe that you deserve what's happening. As you look at this scenario, as you're thinking, Oh no, that poor girl like she does not deserve that. We want her safe. I want you safe.

4:49  
I want you to know that you're valuable and you're worth it and you don't have to stay in the situation that you think you might. If there are hard things happening at your home that are are not okay. Even if you think they're not, but then you minimize them and go, Well, they're not really that bad. If they're anything at all that you have to justify, they're not okay. Everyone is deserving of being treated kindly with respect with love, looked at with admiration, taken care of, tenderly treated, looked at as a partner, not as the enemy. That is what you are worth having. If you do, and you and your spouse are working on things, and your spouse is working on things, and they are really striving to overcome, then that is so great.

5:39  
Keep going, keep walking, keep doing the work. If you are in a one sided relationship, and the other person does not want to do their side of healing work or of anger management work, or, or learning how to treat you the right way, you do not have to stay, but nobody's gonna force you. Nobody's gonna save you. God can't even. God could put me in the exact right spot. I'm talking that the second, how miraculous is that the second that she's being grabbed and pushed across the street, I happen to drive right by. There's no cars coming. There's a whole line of cars coming the opposite direction, but enough distance that I could flip my car right into this neighborhood. That's God, he did that.

6:25  
And he did that so this woman would know that somebody is seeing what's happening, that not everybody is turning a blind eye. Some people are. Some people are wondering, is it that is it not that? Some of your family members are probably saying it's not that bad, or you deserve it, because you're so this. You're not so anything. You're not too much. You're not anything other than just striving to be the best you you can be. Now I know we have faults. And we can say that? Well, I kind of provoked it. No, we don't take any blame for the actions of somebody else. So you didn't provoke anything.

6:59  
If he's storming around, and throwing things and smashing things, and breaking things, or, or anything, destroying any property, that has nothing to do with you. It does not matter how mad you quote, unquote, made him, people don't have to act like that. They have to learn to control those feelings. That has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them and the help that they need to get. So as I was sitting there thinking about you guys in the situation. And here I have this podcast that I never made, never recorded. And now that happened.

7:30  
I knew for a fact I had to get on and talk to you. When I'm kind of in this emotional state. I am furious that this happened. I do not like this. I don't like people being mistreated. I don't like to see women harmed. And I know men are harmed as well. I don't like that it's not okay. I wanted to remind you, God wants to remind you that he is trying to help you and trying to save you from it. He can't make you be saved, and he can't make you walk away. And he can't make you get the help that you need. He also can't make your partner get the help that they need. He can offer and you can offer. And you can ask them and beg them and lead them to do what you want them to do or what they need to do or to stop doing things. But they have to make that choice, just like you do.

8:16  
So who do you want to be? Where do you want to be? What kind of life do you want to have? If you don't feel deserving of having a life that God would see for you fully loved, capable, growing, progressing, finding your purpose, if you don't know that you're deserving of that maybe start there. Maybe start on your own self worth and your confidence, and who you were before this relationship, or who you were even with God or to God, and feel that feel that soul level thing because you were designed by God, exactly the way he wanted you to be. And he wants you to fulfill your purpose, and he wants you to find yourself and he wants you to be happy. And he wants you to feel light.

9:00  
Can you do that for me? Can you do that for you? Can you schedule a counseling appointment with your therapist, or schedule something with me and and talk through what it is that you are in so that someone can help you with asking yourself the right questions, giving you those things so that they can say to you Hey, you know what, that is not actually okay. And that's not normal. This is is not okay, that you're in this or have been in this for so long. The thing that happened as we're in a relationship for a really long time is it's a slow process. It doesn't start out where there's physical abuse, sexual abuse, or abuse of property. It doesn't start that way. It starts slow. And so then it just slowly builds and and when you're told so many times that they're acting this way because of you if you wouldn't have provoked them, you start believing it.

9:55  
It's not true, though. It's manipulation. And so to look at it and realize oh, no, shoot, I've totally been manipulated, but I want to do better now. I want to learn to see different even if you don't think you will even if you think you know what, I kind of think it's my fault. Well, what if you just challenge that for just a minute? What if you were like, okay, I've always thought he was right that this was my fault. Or she was right, that I was the one that was causing these problems, because the way I am or because of my emotions, or because of my depression, or anxiety, or whatever, whatever you've been blamed for so far.

10:30  
What if you just challenged it and and said, What if I wasn't those things? What if I really, truly was different, worth more, I shouldn't be treated this way. And start looking at it as if none of that was true, and see what you can find. See, if you can start noticing where it really isn't you. See if you can start gaining some strength on who you actually are. If you're unsure how to figure it all out, and you need some concentrated help. I know I've been talking about the retreat, but I'm telling you, it really can be life changing. It really can. The people that are coming to speak to you know what they're talking about. They can help you see your situation clear. They can give you ideas and tools for moving forward, whether it's in your relationship, or personally, your self worth, thriving, moving forward and finding your purpose, whatever it is that you're stuck on, they will help you.

11:26  
It's one of those events that you can't even express how much you don't want people to miss it. The people who are supposed to be there. I pray all the time, please the people who are supposed to be there, please help them get there. Please show them that they can. Please tell them to take the risk for their own well being. And for that opportunity to see something different. There is a couple weeks left to register. And I would love you to be there. You can also schedule a call if you have some questions about it. But just like this woman, this young girl, who the police are trying to help, and she is scared to get the help. There's an opportunity actually in her doorway at her house, asking her to take the step.

12:11  
She didn't feel strong enough today. I hope she does later. I hope it doesn't take too many more times for her to realize that this, there is something better that she doesn't have to stay with this. As tools are knocking on your door as you're feeling nudged and inspired by the different things that come along your path, whether it's the retreat, or something different notice when those are on your doorstep. And yes, there's going to be fear, fear of the unknown fear of doing something you've never done fear of, of how am I going to feel when I'm doing it? What kind of emotions are going to come up? Who are the people going to be whatever, whatever the situation is that you're thinking about possibly doing? there is fear and taking that step.

12:52  
The fear does not mean you shouldn't be doing it. Fear is there, because there's a protective nature about you that wants to keep you from harm. But when we stay stuck, and we stay walled in belief systems that we just currently have, and we don't choose to change them. we end up in our own ways like this young girl. We decide No, I can't do that. I think I would rather die. That scares me to death to do that. If I take that step, I don't know what will happen. If I choose to to talk about this, that may lead to divorce. What will happen to me what will happen to my family? What about financially, there's so many fears.

13:35  
God wants to help and he'll even put things in your path to help you but you have to take the step to take the help that's right in front of you. So whatever it is that showing up for you look at it and notice that that's what it is. That's God sending someone to say to you, let's change the situation. Let's help you learn something new. I absolutely know God sent me to the store. I absolutely know he designed that at exactly the right moment. There is no coincidence. It happened in that exact timing. He was giving her an opportunity. He knew I would stop. He knew I wouldn't drive by. Other people; it's hard sometimes, right? Sometimes we miss those opportunities. The mailman he was putting mail in. And he's like, yeah, it was over on that other one. And I was putting mail and I saw this and I thought, Wait a second. are they fighting? It looks like there may be together.

14:27  
He didn't say anything. They ended up around the corner on main street fighting on Main Street as he pushed her back into the neighborhood into the house. God knew I would do it. God knew the girl that also stopped with me would do it and how great was that? That I had somebody with me and that's another thing. God doesn't make you even do this on your own. I had to take the action on my own but he sent somebody else to kind of do it with me to be by my side to say I saw it too. That was super scary and super stressed for her. I want her to be safe. I want her to get help. I hope they save her When they carried him out when he they brought him out with handcuffs. Oh my goodness, I was so relieved.

15:06  
I was like, okay, they got him. They got him. Oh, okay, she's safe. It'll be her decision how safe she stays right. But I pray for her. I want her to know that she is loved. I am loving her right now because I know what she looks like. And I know how scared she wasn't. I saw it on her face. I will not forget that. And every time I'm thinking about you guys, I'm thinking about what it is you need? And how can I help you? And what can God tell me to tell you. And today, it happens to be this right now. And maybe that's why I couldn't get the podcast done a few days ago. Maybe that's why I didn't do it, obviously, just this morning. He wants you to know right here right now that you're worth it, and you're valuable, and you're valued and loved. And you should be happy and safe.

15:51  
I am here for you. If there's anything that I can do to help you in that process, I am so happy, honored, grateful if I can walk it with you. If you want my help and services, please reach out. I care about you deeply. Because I know I've been there. I've experienced so many hard things. And I made it through. Not on my own, though. So many people and tools and opportunities and counselors and and groups, so many things that brought me to where I am today. But at one point, I was like the scared girl. And maybe I wasn't physically abused in that way. But I was trying to figure things out.

16:31  
And I wasn't asking for help. And I didn't want anybody to know. And once I started using my voice and saying what the truth was, things began to change. People were placed in my path, opportunities showed up, God showed up. And he said to me, there is a way out if you choose to take it. When you're ready, I will be here. It took me a while I wasn't ready at first. I would do some of it. But I wanted the outcome to be different. And it wasn't. But he's patient and he's loving and he's there when we're ready. Just remember though, he's not going to make us do it. So if you're ready and you want it to be different and you want to feel different, you want your life to be different, your family to be different, your children to be happy. Look around, see where he's trying to show up in your life to give you that opportunity. I know that was probably a big topic today. And maybe will leave you a little bit maybe like Whoa, that was a lot. But just know you are loved and you are thought of on a regular basis by me and by God. Keep being you keep being the wonderful you that you are that you are meant to be and I'll see you next time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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