Episode 71: Getting What You Wish For and Desire is Possible

Roxanne Kennedy-Granata  0:06  
Welcome back to the Choose in Podcast. I'm your host Roxanne Granada and today is such a great day you are going to love my guest. Her name is Keisha Prince and I met her on Instagram just through following each other. And I was immediately drawn to so much about her, which mainly was her light that exuded off of her. And as I was as I was going through her page and watching some of her videos, she talks a lot about God and her testimony with him.

So not only is she stunning, but she also has just the most beautiful heart and I'm so excited for you to get to hear from her and learn from her and all her wisdom and insight in her journey. And I'm just going to introduce her really quick and then we'll we'll get started with her.

Keisha Prince comes from very humble beginnings. But through the grace of God and hard work, she has been able to pursue her dreams and walk in her purpose. She went from growing up on public assistance in the ghettos of Detroit, Michigan, to becoming a college graduate, personal stylist, motivational speaker and divorce coach after healing from her own divorce. She was able to make sweet lemonade out of the lemons she was given on her journey. Keisha started saying keep pressing pretty as an affirmation to herself, and then turned it into a fashion blog, and styling service. Keep Pressing Pretty has grown to become a source of support and inspiration for women to encourage and heal themselves after dealing with trauma to restore their mental health. Keisha is on a mission to helping women reinvent themselves from the inside out.

She is always on a quest for peace, joy, happiness, and finding ways to empower herself and others. She can be found on Instagram talking about healing and restoring her inner woman while slaying and looking fabulous with her style and fashion. And Keisha is a new author, her book is called Keep Pressing Pretty, a guide on how to slay from the inside out. So Keisha, welcome to my show. I'm so happy you're here. So glad that you could do this with me today.

Keisha Prince  2:34  
Thank you for having me, Roxanne.

You're so welcome. Okay, so tell my listeners a little bit about you tell them kind of a little about your journey of why you even got to this place of needing to write this book, and why you wrote it or anything else that kind of introduces them to you and who you are.

Well, I am the oldest of five. I am a sister, and niece, granddaughter. And I'm just a regular old girl just trying to find my way. In the midst of that I had gotten married at a very young age, I was in my early 20s. And I thought I was with the person that I was going to be with for the rest of my life. And we were on this journey raising my daughter. And all of a sudden there was some bumps in the road just like any other marriage. And in the midst of that I was pursuing my education. I was trying to do things to better myself, I was exploring different businesses.

I had a t-shirt business, I have a styling business, and things just started to unravel. I then got a divorce. And it was after 17 years of marriage. So I had spent most of my adult life with the person. I think that was the most devastating part trying to navigate and figure out how I was going to do everything on my own now, I was used to doing everything with the person I was, you know, having dual accounts, my shared mortgage, everything. So and this was from my early 20s. So I grew up essentially with this person. And so I was asking I was in I said What am I going to do?

What how am I going to I couldn't see beyond my situation. I couldn't see myself moving forward. I'm like, What am I going to do what my my my daughter is going to do? You know, I was in a really bad depression. I was suffering through anxiety. And my friend, she had recently went through a divorce like three years ago. And she told me after I was talking to her and I said I feel this way and I feel so broken and I feel so beat down and feel like, you know, I'm so insignificant, I'm not worthy. And, you know, I'm not I don't feel like I have it in me, I have enough me to move forward into just embark upon a new life.

And she said, You know what Keisha feelings are not facts, what did God say about you? And I was just like, okay, you know, I get that I didn't want to hear that at the time. But as I went through the process, and I thought about it, and I had time to reflect, and kind of like, put things in perspective, weaving through the emotions, because I think that's what overwhelms us the emotion of it. So we can't think logically or rationally, we only see the bad, we only see what we're going through. But we don't, we don't tap into the hope we don't tap into beyond what we see.

And so when I was able to do that, I realized God loved me, God loved me more than any thing he he made me feel like I was the only love of his life. He's my father is, so he wants the best for me. So whatever I'm going through whatever life throws my way, he wanted me to know I'm here for you just rely on me, trust me. And also trust what I put in you. He said, I put so many valuable nuggets in gems and you and all you have to do is take time to tap in.

And so once I was able to tap in and really get to know God for myself through what I was going through, he showed me so much of myself, he showed me my potential my capabilities. And he said, Look, if I brought you this far, I can take you all the way. Once I was able to get my footinging, and stand on that, it was beyond what I can dream of when I was able to have that confidence in myself. In my belief in God, the sky was the limit. I mean, doors started to open, I was able to get favor, I was able to go into areas that I thought I would never be able to go into. So that's my story.

Wow. Oh, my goodness, there's so many things in that that I just wanted to touch on. And I don't even know that I'll remember at the moment. But the first one was, you talked about your friend, who basically said, Kay, why don't you look inside and see really who you are? Oh, gosh, we all need friends like that, right? Because we don't want to hear it. Your story is very similar to mine. I was married 21 years. And I I was married to him at 22.

Roxanne Kennedy-Granata  7:47  
So I had been with him forever. We had four children. And I'm thinking this is what my life was supposed to be. And now all of a sudden, it's changed. How do I even do this? So I heard you share your story. And I heard you say, You You're like god, how am I even supposed to do this? Right? How? How does this even I just would be like there is no way there. I don't even get it. I don't even know how this is my life?

Keisha Prince  8:11  
Yes. Because first you have to get over the shock of what just happened? Yeah, you know, I have to get over the fact that my life is totally turned into, it shifted. Yeah, what I was used to was no longer my reality. My reality was totally flipped upside down. What I knew it was totally, it was like, I went through the transition so fast. I was one way on Thursday, my life was totally changed on Friday. So I had to wrap my mind around how fast that just went the shock of me not being with the person that I was just with, you know, for 17 years. And then I have another whole nother person to think about including myself, I had to deal with my mental health, wrapping my mind around who I was, where I wanted to be how I wanted to be, and will I be able to do this on my own?

Oh, absolutely. And that is something that my listeners are struggling with as well. So many of my clients are either in the process of divorce, or are heading that direction. They're just not quite ready yet. But they believe that's the outcome. They're just hanging on for that last little possibility right? We do that right? Please don't make my life have to change because like you said, it's so scary and you're thinking all these things on my on my plate and my children and how do I even do this?

Roxanne Kennedy-Granata  9:41  
And and it's complicated and scary, but what you what I got from what you had mentioned at the beginning was you had to dig deep and truly surrender and rely on God. Now that is a hard concept sometimes because we think we do We, we believe in God, and we go to him and we pray. And he's been with us forever. And we've known it, and then all of a sudden, we're faced with trauma. And now we have to put that to the test of okay, do we really truly believe he's there yet? Right? And if we do, are we going to trust him to take us through the process, even though it is not looking like it's gonna be the way I we would want it to be?

Keisha Prince  10:29  
Exactly right.

And so that process? How did you get to that place where you were like, Okay, God, I'm going to let you do this with me. Right? You had to allow him in to let him do this with you, to where you would trust him to where cuz I'm assuming that you went through stages where you're like, I don't know if I trust you today. Like, I'm not sure. Maybe you didn't, but I sure did. I was like, I told him, though, I did tell him I said, Hey, look, I'm here, and I'm coming to you.

Roxanne Kennedy-Granata  11:00  
But I don't know if I believe that you're going to do this for me. And so tell me about how you do that. Like all these other women, I do have men listeners as well. But so many of them betrayed. So many have had to turn to God, so many of their life is turned upside down after 15, 20, 30 years, where their life is now different. They have to have a new normal. How did you go to God and do that process of letting him do this with you versus fight against him that it shouldn't have had to be this way.

Keisha Prince  11:31  
I had to surrender. I had to surrender my wheel. I had to surrender my way. Because me and God, we went through a lot together, we we went through yelling matches, we went through a lot of tears, sometimes I will go to him. And I didn't have anything to say to him. Because in my mind is like how did how How could you let me go through this the breakdown of my family. I took it very hard because keeping my family together was meant so much to me, just like I told you before and I put in the book I I went through divorce as a child.

So it was very important for me to keep my family together and have a strong family unit for my daughter, and also for my legacy. And so I held that very sacred. So when that all fell apart, I was upset with God. I was upset with him. And I was also upset with myself. I went through every emotion that you go through through the divorce , I went through the anger, I went through the depression, the you know, the sadness, the bitterness, the losing my mind. Like I was going crazy. Once I surrendered all of that to God. And I said, Okay, have it just okay, just just I'll give it to you. I'll give it all to you every emotion, everything.

I'm going to rely on you, I'm going to trust you. I'm going to trust when you say your word that I will never forsake you, I will never leave you. I'm going to stand on your word this time. Because sometimes we read the word for the sake of reading it, reread it just for the sake of knowing what it says. But we don't necessarily read it to apply it to actually live by it. So when I said okay, I totally embraced everything God told me. He said, I will never leave you. He said you are more than a conqueror. He said now unto him that is able to from keeping you from falling. He said it won't. If you ask me, I'll be there for you. And I'm paraphrasing all of this.

Once I really succumbed to everything he told me, truly. I mean, it wasn't just words, I started living that thing out. So when adversity came my way, I stepped back. And I intentionally didn't react the way I would have normally reacted. I said, God, if the drama comes my way, I'm not going to react. I'm going to resist the enemy. I'm going to resist. I'm not going to go toe to toe, I'm going to let you fight my battles for me. What I'm going to focus on is my future. Once I was able to shift my mindset from present to future, everything started to open up for me, everything started to change. Now my focus and my energy was in a different place.

And so now I am I was not subjugated to my situation. I was then now releasing that to God and I was strategizing. I was putting my energy in planning for my future. And that became exciting to me. So it took my mind off of the stress of what I was going through. And it shifted my thinking it shifted my mindset. That's when I was able to literally write down the plan for my life. I told God, okay, this is what I want step by step from, you know, where I was going to live the furniture that I wanted in my house. I mean, I gave him every detail the curtains.

And so I was planning everything out. And then I said, Okay, this is how much I'm making. This is how much is going out. This is how much it's going to take for me to accomplish my goal. I mean, I was so focused, and strategic and planning. And I want to tell your listeners God, appreciate when you come to him with a plan, because a lot of times we go to him thinking, Okay, you just handle it. We don't put no effort into it, we pray.

And we just say, Okay, God, we just, and he said, No, I want you to be I want you to go into partnership with me, I want you to come to me, but I want you to put your hand in my hand. And we're going to go through this together. So that means you're going to have a job, I'm going to have a job, you're going to have a job, I'm going to have a job. And once we put those things together, the outcome was amazing. It was amazing.

I love that so much. I love how you talked about the shift from focusing on the emotional anguish that you were in. And spinning in that you mentioned the hamster wheel, I say the same thing. You're on the hamster wheel of emotion and pain and sadness, and you relive it over and over and over. And we have to get off of that if we want our healing. Right. So that shift of planning for the future is so vital in our healing, otherwise, we stay spinning in the pain.

Roxanne Kennedy-Granata  16:58  
Now the pain obviously, we have to deal with that we need therapy or we need some sort of outlet to to walk through it, yet focusing on the possibility. I know many people will get stuck in the future doesn't look bright, it looks scary. If I look at the future, I panic, I feel overwhelmed. I feel too much. And so I like how you just identified making the list. What is it that I do want in the future that can help limit the overwhelm because it's not this big, vast uncertainty unknown.

It's like, this is what I want God, this is what I would like, right? God is not going to necessarily take us and take everything away and make us destitute. He's going to do the process with us. And yes, we do have to change our lifestyle a bit when we first get divorced. And we do have financial things strain. But he but he is going to provide as as we as we would feel comfortable, he wants us to be happy. He wants us to have the curtains that we like and the furniture he really actually does. He does, He really does. He knows my style. And he was very helpful in helping me find a place to go that had my style, even though it was different than what I was used to.

Keisha Prince  18:13  
Also I put myself through counseling and the whole process of divorce. So when I first decided, okay, we first decided we're going to separate I immediately put myself in therapy, and I would advise anybody to do that. Because you are dealing with something that is devastating is traumatic, is mind altering is life altering. So you have to get your bearings, you have to get back into a place where you can now function mentally in your right mind.

Because if you operate strictly on emotion, that can be very dangerous, because now you're not thinking rational. So I had to really sit down and voice everything to her and you know, and she was able to give me exercises to take back into my real life situation. And then I was able to use those tools to help me get through everything. You know, and he didn't even know you know, my, my ex husband didn't even know I was doing this. So you don't and that's what I try to tell people to work in the book. You don't have to tell everybody what you do.

Yeah, for sure.

Move in silence because my healing had everything to do with me and nothing to do with him. Right healing was about me and my future. And my, my daughter, that's it.

That was proactive. You have to take on that healing. When you do that. It helps you see and especially like you're talking about when you go to a therapist or somebody that can coach you through. It's a different perspective, one that is in a neutral state where you're in that hyper arousal state of them And like you said, you're not thinking clearer. And so to go to somebody that gives voice of reason, that helps you see a different way of thinking that offers solution offers tools you can take back.

Roxanne Kennedy-Granata  20:12  
And then it goes to that point where you said, you got to that place where you weren't going to fall for the drama, where you were going to basically leave Satan alone doing that, and you are just going to stick with God and let God handle the battle. And you get there by by this practicing and by by meeting with counselors, so that you can constantly be reminded every time I don't know if you were like this, but in counseling, I would come to my counselor basically with the same thing for quite a long time. Like, I cannot do this. I do not know how to do this.

Yeah, just just give me the list. And he's like, Well, it's not really a list like that. I'm like, Just give me the list. I promise. I said this to God to just Yeah, exactly. I will do it your way. Just tell me how it goes. It's like, okay, well, it's you know, it's a process but, but I still came to him with those things, because I was so beside myself. And so having somebody share with you what to do, gets you out of it so that you can thrive and that you can be happy and and all of those things. Okay, so in your book you talked about, I've just wrote a couple quotes, "our distractions and unbelief make us distract from him. Our faith gets smaller and smaller because our" strength, no, sorry, "because our situation gets greater and greater in our minds." Okay.

So I guess where I want to go is when we have our, our things going in our mind like this, like we are thinking about all the stuff that's going on, we are detracted from our healing. So you shared some of that stuff. And I can't actually think about it right now. But it tell me about the healing process in, in figuring out what those wounds were and how you turn them from thinking about all the pain to healing the actual wound. Does that even make sense?

Keisha Prince  22:04  
One thing I tell people is, a lot of times when you're going through anything, any type of traumatic situation, in this case, it was divorce, you put that in the forefront of your mind. And you let that be everything you think about throughout the day. And then you ask yourself, where's God? Where are you? Where are that's where I could what I kept asking him, Where are you like, it just seems like you're not here. You know, I'm crying all day. I'm depressed, I'm stressed out. The problem was I was putting my situation before him. So in my mind, I thought he was leaving me. But when I put my situation before him, I was leaving him.

Okay, explain. Oh, that's really powerful.

Yes, so I became more distant from him. And he was he remained the same the whole time. He was at the same place, he was the same guy. But every time I would concentrate it put all my energy in my situation. I put barriers between him and I. And he said, I need for you to take away all those barriers. When I took away all of the things in my mind, in my mind, when I was able to flush out all of those things. I felt myself getting closer and closer to him. Once I got to him, I embraced him, I surrender unto him.

I bow to him, and my whole demeanor, everything changed. So and when I used to go into prayer, I will go and I'll put this in the book, how I would have meetings of lamentation, meaning I would just, I was full of sorrow. I was just in just full of pain and misery. And so I will go to him with that attitude. I will go to him like Lord, why me? Oh my god, I can't believe this. What am I going to do? How am I going to recover bla bla bla bla bla. But once I was able to flush all of that stuff out and filter my way back to God, my and I was able to embrace him and bow unto him and get to him and embrace him in my mind because it's all a mind game.

Once I was able to do that, I was going to God saying, I started praising God. I started my meetings were from meetings of lamentation to meetings of praise and thanksgiving. So I start embracing him and I said, Lord, I believe everything that you said in your word. I believe that I'm more than a conqueror. I believe that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I believe that I'm more than I was just going on and on. So once you, And I was saying these things out loud,  once you do that, and you do it on a repetitive basis or on a constant basis, you building yourself up in him.

So I started not only speaking the word, but when they went back into my ear, I believed it. I believe that I can do this, I can be the change that I want to see. I can actually go out and get the things that I asked God for. I asked God for a home. I said, Lord, I don't want to go renting an apartment, having to go through, I'm a single woman, now I need security. I need all of these things. Once I did that, and it was a lot of sacrifice. I will tell anybody don't think it's going to happen overnight. There is a process. And I would say trust the process.

Because if you believe God, that you know that he's not going to forsake you. He's not going to leave you just keep believing that and keep being obedient to what he says. I mean, he was guiding my footsteps throughout the day. He would tell me Okay, Keisha, it's time to go, right. It's time to go left. Don't Don't go there. Don't buy this. Don't Don't don't focus on this. So God gives you that intuition.

That intrinsic thought is like a gut feeling. And when you follow that, and you know what one thing I will say, and I'm going to stop talking, make sure that your motivations and your intentions is pure. It wasn't about getting revenge. It wasn't about being vindictive. It wasn't about being you know, I gotta get him back. I got it. You know, once you take that out of your mindset and your process of thinking, God can open up so many doors for you.

Absolutely. 100%. Wow. Right. He The thing is what I heard from the beginning of that was this place of acceptance. You had to get through the resentment and the bitterness and the why me and the how come this is and there's no way like, do you seriously think I can do this? Like, you had to get through that. So you could hear him? Because like you said, Of course he's there. Of course, he's standing there, and he's going to guide us. But when we have our own agenda, I know that for me, I had to get out of my own way in the sense that I didn't want it to be this way.

Roxanne Kennedy-Granata  27:27  
I wanted him to fix it in a way that would allow my family to stay together as it was. I wanted him to change the other person. But agency isn't he doesn't change is like that he offers us options to change ourselves. But if we don't want to, then we don't, you know the same, right? When we're sitting in pain like that, when we're just like, why they can't and there's no way and he's like, I know, I mean, he would say with me, he'd be like, I know, I know, I know.

Keisha Prince  27:56  
So gentle,

He is and he's just like when you're ready, when you really want to get out of this, I'm here to show you but if you want to sit in the pain for a while, then you know, I'll rub your back while you don't. 100% So So I heard all of that acceptance coming to that place. And and just knowing having that intent is really powerful too. And I think that also comes from that place of, of knowing that if we keep trying to do an on our own, we are going to spin and we are going to second guess and we're not going to be able to learn to trust ourselves.

Roxanne Kennedy-Granata  28:32  
But when we follow that gut instinct that you're talking about that God gives every person to say, listen to that inspiration that you've got your gut instinct, many of us when we've gone through trauma, we don't know how to trust that anymore. But sometimes it's because our gut instinct is telling us to do something opposite of what we want the answer to be. Yes. Right. It's like my situation, I want the answer to be different. I don't want this to be the answer. So my gut instinct was move forward in your healing on your own path without the other person.

And I would second guess that gut instinct, because I didn't want that to be the answer. Yes. So God, of course, is still patient with us. He still stood there, he still was like, Okay, well, when you're ready, the answers still here. And I'm still here. And it took me a while. Sometimes Sometimes I would move quick. Sometimes it would take me a long time. Just know those of you who are listening, just know that wherever you are at he is there he is. And your timing is fine. And if it takes you a long time, that's okay. You're just learning he teaches line upon line.

And so he can't even like what you're talking about about you wanted a house and not an apartment and you did that whole process and he doesn't just give us the whole thing of the end. There's a whole like stepping stone it's a bridge you were like doing this and then you're doing this and my listeners have heard me talk about the places I've lived in my healing home. My healing home after the divorce was small and nothing like what I had, but it felt it was filled with the Spirit. It was definitely powerful. And I loved it. Even though I was there for six months.

That's all I needed. Yeah, gave that to me, even though it wasn't the final thing. It was part of the process. And so that's just oh, gosh, that is just so beautiful. Okay, let me talk about another area where, where my clients and listeners fear, they fear the financial burden, they fear that a lot of people stay together longer than needed, because either their children, they think that's the best thing for them, or because they're worried about the money. Mm hmm.

So what kind of insight can you offer in, in helping people to take this step when they don't know how it's gonna turn out? Or even even the financial part? How did you do that? Because I heard you say, how am I going to do that my income just like cut in half? And how am I going to afford this? And now I have a child to be a single parent. And, you know, do you have any insight into helping these listeners take the step anyway, even though they're fearful,

Keisha Prince  31:16  
I always say it's preparation, and then it's production. So you prepare you prepare. And a lot of times, you know that the relationship is over before it's over. Before you say it's done, you know, that is going to be coming to an end soon. So what I would say is, start saving as much as you can, don't tell anybody what you're doing, put some things away, start preparing, write things down in a notebook every day, what you want, going forward, where you want to be going forward. And then once you see the goal list, then you say, Okay, over on the next page, what is the strategy to getting these goals, you may want to put some money away.

But what I say if you have a good friend, I can just keep your money. Keep a couple of dollars for you every paycheck, placing part of your income into another area, because it's scary, it is scary. You can recover from this, you can rebuild, you just have to be very strategic, get out of your emotions, take all your emotions out of it. You know what he did what he didn't do, it doesn't even matter at this point. What matters is you, you are what you need to be thinking about your children is what you what you need to focus on.

That's it. Right? Whatever he's doing or not doing that is none of your concern. What you need to do is every day write down in your journal, what you want, and how you're going to get there. And start funneling some of your money into different areas. If you have a good friend, if you have a mom, tell them open up a bank account for me and your name. And put that money over every single week, every two weeks, every month. It may be a little here, maybe a little there. And it's gonna be great sacrifice. So what I had to do is everything that was not needed I got rid of that is so important. It's time to get disciplined. Think about discipline and sacrifice, discipline and sacrifice in this type of situation is no immediate gratification. No, are you thinking about the long game, the long game long game,

Yeah giving up some of those things, that material things or your comfort? Is okay, knowing you don't have to you can take it with that, like my life will never be the same. Or you can take it that you're giving this up for a time. But you will thrive and you will be provided for later on you're on and you'll have all the wonderful things to enjoy life that you want. Whatever it is you want. It will come as time goes on.

Look back on your situation and smile, you'll laugh and think about where you came from and where you are. You know, when you get to your future. I had to chuckle and say, oh my god, I was I was a mess. Yeah, I was a crying bafoon

Oh yeah every single day, every day, every day. Oh my goodness. And the thing is, is it's all about taking those action steps. Because when we put money aside or when we start thinking that way, we can let it spin to overwhelm like there's never going to be enough never going to be enough. But I challenge you who are listening who are feeling that to know that. It's not that you have to provide all of it. It's that you take the action so that God can show you what's next.

Roxanne Kennedy-Granata  34:48  
You may put a job in front of your plate he may like have something that you're like, oh my goodness, if you hadn't taken the action that would not have come into your view So it's not about you figuring it all out, it's you being willing to take the steps, take some of the action, and he will show you what to do how and when you don't have to figure it all out. You just have to take a step So

Keisha Prince  35:12  
Yep when I took because you know what, God doesn't take the first step. He wants you to take the first step because he wants to know that you're committed to the process. So once he once I took the step, he took the step, I took the step, he took a step. And it just went, it flowed, right. It's flowed.

Roxanne Kennedy-Granata  35:32  
Yeah, building that trust in Him building that it'll take practice. And if you don't trust him, because there's wounds there, just take the wounds to God and tell him, Look, I have a wound with you, because you didn't save me way back. Or because I have this happened to me when I was young, or because of this. Take them to him so that he can help you heal those inner wounds. Because you are definitely going to be shown where your wounds are in this process, you're going to be shown not what somebody did to you, but how you think about yourself, how you what kind of things you've already gone through with your own self worth and your own insecurities.

It's definitely going to be a vulnerable raw, eye opening heart opening experience. Yes, and it is painful. I'm telling you the pain is real real, but the light and the love and the rejoicing when he shows up and when you heal that wound the past wound is like, I can't tell you how many times I would after all the pain, I would be like, Oh my gosh, I mean, in gratitude just thank you so much. I can't even tell you how thankful I am. I can't even tell you how awesome you are, I would yell it to them and sing it to him and cry it to him.

And then of course, I'd be back down again and mad at him because he didn't do what I wanted. But it's okay. It's alright. He's our friend. And he is we come around vulnerable. He it's like we're building a real relationship. Like, what was somebody here next to you where you would share all of the real stuff. He's okay with that I promise, which they've heard me I've yelled at God so many times, and he's like, are you? Are you done yet? Are you done? Are you okay? Okay. All right, what I wanted to finish up with was, you have a chapter on self worth. And the reason I want to talk about this is because self worth is ah it is when we go through betrayal, or trauma of some kind, we are our self worth just gets pummeled.

It's like we lose this confidence that we thought we had, or, or we our insecurities are so big, whether it's because in my case where there was infidelity in different ways, from pornography and other things, the self esteem of us not feeling good enough or worthy, or were less than or needing to be better, cuter, smarter, you know, those things were real. And when we experience betrayal of any kind, it really takes a hit on our self worth. So in your book, I'm actually going to read a little piece out of it that this is from chapter seven. You guys, first of all, this book is an unbelievable, I have most of you have read my book already.

But if you haven't grabbed that too, but grab her book, I'll remind you it's Keep Pressing Pretty, and I'll have that in the show notes. But it is like a real vulnerable, raw, but light, it is positive. It's not just the negative. It's it has the truth in it. But it is showing the process just the way I write. So if you were drawn to my book, which is why you're here listening to this podcast, you will love hers as well because she writes the same way. But in her chapter chapter seven, know your worth, she talks about when she was a little nine year old girl, I'm going to let her share that story with you. But I'm going to read this part first.

And then I want her to share this process of healing a wound with God from when she was young, and how even that process has helped her with healing the wounds for today. So on page 86, she says "we subconsciously stand in front of those insecurities and anxieties all the time when making choices for ourselves. It's time to reveal what you want God to heal. Somebody made you feel like you weren't worthy. Somebody told you that you weren't good enough.

Or maybe that somebody was you. The enemy can play on our emotions and intelligence and make us think things about ourselves that are totally untrue and go against our Creator." So Keisha fill them in on that story of you as a nine year old girl and what you shared in the book and then how healing that wound helps you to heal the wounds of today of divorce and and what brought you to where you are now.

Keisha Prince  39:55  
So when going through divorce you just like you said before it takes takes a toll on how you feel about yourself. Because you start questioning your, your identity, you start questioning your existence, why am I here? You know, because, you know, as a parent, and as a wife, sometimes your identity is tied into those things. So once you have to stand alone, it's like, Oh, my God, who am I. And so I went to God, and I said, you know, help me with this divorce and blah, blah, blah. And so it was like opening Pandora's Box.

Because a flood of emotions came through from my past, from my childhood, and everything. And I'm like, but I don't want to deal with my childhood. I want to just deal with this. And God said, once you deal with your childhood it's going to help you deal with this. Because there's some things that's correlating both between your divorce and what you've gone through that you've never dealt with. Because the goal was to be a better woman, all the way around coming out of this divorce. It wasn't just, you know, get out of the divorce and go to the next man. No, God said, once you get out of this, I'm going to make you a better well rounded individual.

Once I got out of the divorce, God dealt with me about my nine year old self, I never dealt with it, it came back up like a flood. Like it just overwhelmed me. And that nine year old girl was crying out to me and said, Please help me, please help me feel better about myself. I don't feel good about myself, I feel low, I feel broken. And I don't feel like I'm good enough. What I didn't want to deal with was with my father. My father, he never gave me he never validated me. He never told me I was enough. I didn't measure up and in my eyes, I didn't measure up because of the lack of confidence he put in me. And it wasn't about me blaming him.

That was not the point of it. It was about just truly revealing something that I needed God to heal, period. So it's not about you know, going to him and say, Well, you never did, are you blaming him, it's about you healing because, you know, I tell people, your healing has nothing to do with the person who betrayed you. Because that person may not that person might die, and you may not ever get that closure you need. So that means you have to do it with God.

And yourself. So I had to stand in it. And really embrace those emotions and and deal with that nine year old little girl. And once and it took therapy, it took affirmations every day, and I still do it every day, I still lift myself up and say You're beautiful, you're confident, all these different things. And I and that's where the Keep pressing pretty comes in. I tell myself every day keep pressing pretty baby, keep pressing pretty, you got this, you got this, you got this. Because life is full of negativity is always full of different things that will weigh you down.

I always say life is about your mental because your mental controls your physical. So once I got myself together in my head, I was able to appreciate my body, I was able to really appreciate working out every day, eating better, you know, because it was all in my head once. If you don't think you're good enough, and you don't think that you're worthy. You treat yourself so bad. You treat yourself unworthy. And so once I got it in my head, you're no different than anybody else when God made you. He said it was a good thing. He made you fearfully and wonderfully.

And I start embracing those words, I start really walking in that. And so it built my confidence. And I was able to get a job that I never thought I would be able to get. I had all the credentials, but I just still felt like I wasn't worthy of it. And once I showed up my healing, and I showed up in my restored mine, my employer was blown away. I was able to sell myself in a way that I had never ever sold myself before. And that's when God said this is the reason why you had to deal with your nine year old self.

Absolitely. Right? We have to heal the past wound we have to hold on to because it's like we can't not sweep out from under the rug. We can't start from today how great it would be if we didn't have to lift up the past and heal those things. But that's is not how he works, he wants us to be free. He wants to be clear, he wants us to be healthy and and remember who we are and know our worth, that he thinks of us. And so for you to heal the nine year old you with God so he could show you who you are.

Roxanne Kennedy-Granata  45:16  
You could show up in those interviews at your new job with the confidence of everything ofknowing, of just that knowing of knowing. And that's the thing about divorces where we sometimes feel like, our life is over, we're over. I remember feeling like, I'm over. Like, it's, it's not just it's over. I'm over. I have nothing left now. And healing. So as painful as all of this is the gift of going through something traumatic like this is the opportunity to feel what you felt when you walked into those interviews.

Yes, actually, 100% are worthy of all the great things, we are already amazing the way we are, we have so much to offer so much to give so many gifts, and God's ready to show us our purpose and our passion and be able to live it. But we have to heal the wounds. And so I know it's scary. I know all of you come to me and it is scary to talk through the wounds. But if you're listening to Keisha, talk about healing something so that she can thrive after divorce. That's going to be you too. It can be you. Yeah, have to go for it.

Keisha Prince  46:30  
Yes, everybody has a superpower. Your superpower is to transfer pain into purpose. That is your superpower, you can take something so devastating is so mind blowing, and turning into a great blessing for someone else. Because God allows things to happen for a reason. And it's, it's all working out for our good. And that's what I had to wrap my mind around is it's tragic. And it's hurtful, and it's painful. But I had the ability to turn struggle into strategy, I had the ability to turn pain into purpose, I had the ability to turn a test into a testimony, everything can be reversed back into a great place a great space, but you have to embrace what God wants you to do.

Be in tune with his voice, his voice will lead and guide you into all truth and to freedom. And that's what you want, you want to be free in your mind. So your children can be free. So your next relationship can be free. So you won't take that back at you to that next relationship. But you'll be able to be so free that you put everything is on a clean slate. And you won't blame no one for what your past did to you. You won't blame nobody. Because you understand your freedom. As you understand that you are worthy that you are enough. So you won't be you won't project that into your next relationship. Because you're free from it.

Right, which makes makes sense of why you named your book, not just the Keep Pressing Pretty but a guide on how to slay from the inside out. Everything you just talked about is that it is inside out. You deal with the wounds you deal with the inside you deal with the trust the self worth the confidence, the relationship with God, so that you become this powerful, strong, wonderful person that God wants you to be and knows you can be on the outside too, so that you can show up at the interviews, right? So it's like, yeah, but we've got to slay the inside.

You got to slay the inside.

You've got to Oh my goodness. Wow. Oh my goodness, I am so excited about this interview. I'm so happy you are here.

I'm so happy you had me.

Roxanne Kennedy-Granata  49:01  
You're so great. Oh my gosh, you guys, I wish you could just be sitting here with us because she really has just so much to offer and so much to give. So I'm so grateful you wrote the book. So as we're leaving, can you tell either any last words of wisdom and then also where they can find you? And like your website or your Instagram or however and then if they want to get in contact with you because you are a divorce coach and you do things like that. Just let them know kind of what you offer so that they can come find you if they choose to.

Keisha Prince  49:35  
Yes, so my last words is you you have this in the bag. Trust the process. You are beautiful. You are everything. God made you to be wonderfully and fearfully, but you have to remember that when you're going through this. It's hard. I know it's hard. I know the process is daunting, but I can promise you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I am a living witness of that.

And if God can do it for me, he can certainly do it for you keep pressing pretty is my brand and you can find my website at keep pressing pretty.com That is KEEPPRESSINGPRETTY.com. My handles on my social media is keep pressing pretty. And that is on Facebook and Instagram. If you would like to purchase my book, you can go to Amazon. And in the search engine put in slay from the inside out and the book comes right up. If for some reason keep pressing pretty, it gives you a lot of different options. My email address is prince48204@gmail.com.

If you are in need of counseling after divorce, I do more of a healing after post divorce. So if you want to heal, rebuild and thrive, I am here for you. I am going to walk you through the process. We have packages that you can we can go through and I just want to help everybody where they are and get them to a better place.

Absolutely. Thank you so much. The whole thing about this that I found too is that we don't have to do it alone. Yes, we feel so alone. Like we're the only one going through this. But when we find other people that we connect with that have had the same story or at least similar, we see that it can be done that we can be okay. And all those resources that she just told you all her ways of finding her will be in the show notes. So don't worry if you didn't catch it. It'll be written in there you can go look at that. But Keisha, thank you so much for being here. And I wish you the very, very best and hopefully we can talk again soon. I just loved having you on the show.

Yes, thank you for having me. Uh, you be blessed.

Okay. All right. So that's the end of our show today. Thank you so much for being here and I will see you next time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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